Thursday, 16 April 2015

The Life Threatening Question....

So , today I was more than motivated to pen down my new blog donning  the thinking hat,scribbling on the empty edge of the newspaper with a borrowed - from - my 11 yr old 's Trimax gold pen ( its kind of a status symbol in his classroom... ) seated in a butt pricking - barely cushioned  thinking Chair ( Blue's clues style) daydreaming about being  loved by millions as a star writer, almost hearing the thunderous applause at the launch of my own "Bestseller", eyeing next year's Booker. 

Ya, ya I am wide awake.

The Doorbell Rings.

Tada, royally enters  "The Plumber" in  a jiffy for fixing the ever leaking bathroom faucet having granted  our humble request for the same rendered a week back grumbling out loud about his packed itinerary for the day followed by the AC servicing guy who loves to gossip . (Am a hard core environmentalist with 3 AC's installed in a household of 4 earth!) .
BTW,  The AC guy  can give you an inside scoop on at least 150 unknown families of the town.. Who cares ....on second thoughts,  listening never killed anyone. Did it?? 

Left with no choice , I decide (envy my authority..... Haan? ) to supervise them both after exchanging pleasantries . what??? " . Respect thy labour" is a new norm in a nuclear, time crunched, oblivious to the concept of DIY urban living.
 P S - Your luxurious abode can turn into a dilapidated shanty in a blink of an eye if " Thy labour" turns hostile.

 So reminiscing this hard earned gyaan , after lots of explaining and cajoling got them started with their work ( Administration is definitely my forte...IAS... Sigh) . No thankyou my inner voice ,  I am a loyalist who yearns to be a writer.  Philhaal, Confused & devastated  on not doing justice to my bright prospects , I stepped into the kitchen to make use of  " khaali time in hand" to prepare lunch for my gourmet son who has over developed taste buds topped with " beat the dog" kinda olfactory senses garnished ( so in element today) with sharp sense of food aesthetics to give all the judges of "Masterchef....damn any country" run for their money .
( secretly, Nirupa Roy in me is very proud of him) .

Side by side , putting to use my next best enviable skill - -Multitasking. Deliberately and outrightly defying the prophecy of my primary grade Maths teacher and quickly calculating mentally ( pat on the back....I should have attempted IIT atleast once ) as to how much time I'll be left with to run a quick shower before leaving the house for picking up  my teen & an almost teen boys ( Nirupa Roy ... Remember?) from the bus stop after school.  Meanwhile, the two gems from my dear husband's Navratna ( no, not haldiram but my personal Badshah  Akbar's favourite work force ) finished their respective chores simultaneously polishing a plate of Parle-G along with deeply sugared tea  (hospitality & bargaining powers go hand in hand)  accepts my farewell speech and finally, leaves. Pheww. 

I was almost on the verge of checking every box on my timeline with a + ....clap, clap.
I'm the best, I'm the best ( SRK's   hit  number plays on the radio ) . A perfect day.

 Wait.......the ordeal continues . Doorbell rings.
How I hate doorbells, who invented them...??? Why??

Tidying my murderous expression I decided to ( authority....) answer the door.
With a big beaming smile and a know it all expression " outstands" my " heavily " weight loss obsessed (Pun intended ...yes) neighbour to discuss the nuances of her new found love ...
 " The Vegan Diet" over a cup of detoxicating herbal organic green tea and enlighten me on the wholesome goodness of flaxseed, chia seed, sabja seed , hemp seeds ....zzzzzzzz.
 ( whoever suggested me to study nutrition, LIVE , till I find you) .

CUT TO THE EVENING... grand arrival of Pran-nath , after the customary hug, kiss and lending a half hearted ear to the day's account of all 3 co- residents of " His" house comes a cardinal question..," what do you do all day??" Followed by the most coveted advice ," Do something productive, use your brain , don't let it rust."...bla bla bla. 

Yeah right!! Don't know about the brain but I have the balls to kill a few , Darling.